In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, host Marisa Donnelly and guest Abe Lopez dive into negative self-talk and complacency — what causes these things, how to avoid them, and how to push back against the moments you feel tempted in order to truly grow.

Abe and I start with mental states. We talk about stagnancy, inner demons, negative self-talk (and combating the negative voices in your head), and ways to change fear and doubt into movement.

We explore deeply personal topics, like inadequacy, self-shaming, and giving up.

Highlights From the Episode:

[1:00] “I feel that there’s a deep significance with lack of motivation correlating to our sense of comfort. With us being so content with where we are, that the only logical explanation for what’s happening to us is that it’s ‘just not meant to be.’ …I think that one of our biggest demons… is this sense of comfort.”

[3:40] “We have this constant stream of negative self-talk… these things inside of us [that] hold us back. It’s these voices that keep telling us we can’t, or giving us this fear of rejection, or just constantly giving us a stream of doubt.”

[4:00] “These inner voices can keep us stagnant to the point that we’re not progressing, or even progressing negatively… it’s a ‘giving up’ mindset.”

[9:30] “Be conscious of what thoughts you’re constantly putting in your head.”

[19:45] “You are not good enough in this very moment if you feel like you’re not. You’re not good enough, but you can be. And it will be challenging and it will suck the life out of you sometimes, and sometimes you might not even want to get out of bed.

It’s challenging to want to do something better in this life. It’s challenging to want to grow as a person, to reach a goal, to want to mentally reach a goal, or emotionally reach a goal… It is so much easier to just stay in bed and hit the snooze button and not do anything about it. It’s so much easier to default to your regular life.”

[20:30] “It’s hard to want to change your life. It’s easy to dream about it, but it’s hard to really act on it. Because part of it isn’t really acting on it, it’s first realizing what you have to do. First, figuring out those goals and then thinking, ‘How am I going to execute these goals realistically?'”

[22:15] “Life is not limited to the circumstances that you’re living in right now. Life has so much more crap and so much more beauty to offer you. But you’re never going to see half of that beauty if you don’t go out and try to find it. And sometimes that beauty’s within yourself… But sometimes you have to do some really hard digging.”

[28:45] “We have to channel that fear and doubt into movement, and when we start to make movement, we can change our perspective. And then we can change our direction.”

The Biggest Takeaway:

Biggest takeaway quote: “Channel your fear and doubt into movement.”

That means no matter how scared you are, don’t be afraid to take tiny steps in a more positive direction. In order to progress, you must fight back against the negative self-talk and debilitating thoughts in your head. You must push back against the fear and against what holds you back. You have to shift the way you see yourself and speak to yourself, and let that change help you to move in a different direction, one that builds rather than breaks.

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