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In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa Donnelly and guest Abe Lopez dive into how to properly communicate your emotions to your loved ones, in the sense of wanting them to be safe without making it seem you have too tight of a grip on their life. They also discuss proper motivation and where to truly find it, shifting your mindset (and what that means), as well as learning to be happy in the situation you’re currently in, while also aspiring for more.
When it comes to feeling ‘stagnant,’ this often grows from a place of contentment. In this episode, I speak with Abe about finding and creating happiness, while not letting yourself get ‘stuck.’ We discuss how you can be the catalyst for happiness in your own life. We also talk about shifting your mindset to help you lead a more productive life.
When it comes to loving other people, we share how to tread carefully in giving advice and love. Although it’s easy to want to ‘coach’ the people you care about into making the right decision, sometimes you have to let them grow their own wings and make their own mistakes. (Which is a challenge!)
Highlights From the Episode:
[4:55] “Maybe we’re coming in [to help] with the best intentions, but in reality, we’re making them want to distance from us more.”
[9:05] “You can’t force someone to get help… You can’t take control of someone’s life, no matter how much you care for them.”
[9:10] “So maybe it’s caring about someone in a way that empowers them to make their own decision, based on what they’ve heard from you and other people, but also what they feel in their heart.”
[9:30] “Maybe we can say… I’m sharing [this] with you because I love you, but I want you to make the choice. And I’m here for you regardless of your decision.”
[11:55] “You have to empower people to fix themselves.”
[13:15] “You wouldn’t be the person you are today if you hadn’t made decisions, right or wrong, in your past to lead and shape you into who you are.”
[14:00] “Because I didn’t [always listen to others] it grew me into someone more capable.
[16:30] “We are fueled by our emotion to care, and that’s not wrong… But we forget that these people have separate lives. We completely surrender to the idea that we, somehow, control everything… and we can’t.”
[24:25] “Empower yourself by understanding that there is a very real dark side, a very real [rock] bottom… and it’s not made up of people who didn’t have dreams. It’s made up of people who didn’t follow them.”
[29:40] “This life is over in the blink of an eye. Just as you came in, you will go out, so don’t sit and ponder what could have been. Instead, do and chase [dreams].”
The Biggest Takeaway:
Letting go of things (and people) and your ‘power’ to help them requires shifting your mindset. You have to understand that the only thing you can control is yourself.
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