Welcome to the VulnerABILITY Podcast! VulnerABILITY is a passion-project-turned-podcast centered on being honest, transparent, and real in a world that often shies away from these topics. In this (very first!) episode, host Marisa Donnelly and guest Abe Lopez discuss the ideas of love (and what that really means), identity, being patient, and embracing the unknown.
‘Patience is a virtue.’ Most people have heard that quote before, but what does it mean? In this episode, I start by opening up about the unknowns. I share what I’m currently struggling with in both my personal and professional *lives* and my pain of falling into comparison.
Both Abe and I talk about social media and the unconscious desire to measure oneself against others. And although this can be a motivating practice, it’s often negative. It seems as if everyone else has it ‘figured out,’ but in reality, we’re all learning. And being patient is the key in all of our journeys!
Highlights From the Episode:
[3:35] “Not a lot of people know what they want, and I think a lot of us are quick to demonize that… We think that because we don’t have everything figured out, or because something doesn’t make sense to us at that moment, it’s somehow wrong.”
[3:45] “If it’s not immediately damaging to you, then it’s not bad. But don’t completely succumb to the idea that these foreign feelings are not new experiences for you… A foreign feeling isn’t always bad.”
[5:10] “We’re going to have moments where we don’t know what we’re doing — and that’s fine! But we can’t live in that place where we do nothing.”
[5:35] “If you reach the point where you feel you have everything figured out, that’s a bad thing. Because you feel that you have nothing left to improve. No bridges to cross… You should definitely look at the foreign feeling of being uncomfortable, and sit in your “uncomfortablilty” and realize that this moment is you wanting to further yourself, to push yourself.”
[6:12] “I think that some of the biggest breakthroughs in my life have been where I was in the most uncomfortable positions. When I felt like I had nothing figured out, or no motivation to have anything figured out.”
[7:10] “When you pray for strength, God will give you the opportunity to be strong.”
[8:00] “When you are uncomfortable the most — that’s you being aware … I think you can praise being uncomfortable sometimes… I think you can praise the negative experiences… because without the praise for the negative we can’t appreciate the positives.
[17:00] “We’re going to go through difficult things, and that’s okay. But don’t stay in that ‘okayness.'”
[20:20] “You’re not supposed to find your identity in a fantasy of you two together. You’re not supposed to find your identity in another person. Yes, they’re great and maybe they’re compatible with you, but they are not you. And they will not complete what you’re meant to be. You will complete what you’re meant to be.”
[21:00] “There is no other half; you are two wholes.”
[21:35] “You’re a whole and complete person, and when you find the right person, you’re a fuller version of yourself… You’re not missing something.”
[26:00] “The moments where I’ve really stepped away and stopped trying to control things and stopped trying to rush things, and said, ‘Okay, I’m just going to let this happen,’ that’s the moment I find where I’m meant to be.”
[26:30] “If it doesn’t work out, don’t feel like you’ve lost some deep, intimate moment of your life that you’ll never find.”
[27:10] “Be okay with being alone, be okay with not getting a ‘yes’ every single time, be okay with not getting the outcome that you wanted. Be okay with that; sit in that. Think about the possibilities of the ‘no.’ The ‘no’ doesn’t mean your life is over. The ‘no’ just means your life isn’t going in that direction.”
[28:00] “Life won’t always work out to your benefit… When it does, rejoice! When it doesn’t, accept that. And when you don’t know… sit in that, too. Push forward and make things happen for yourself, and when it doesn’t work out — wait.”
The Biggest Takeaway:
The biggest takeaway from this podcast: you can’t control everything. There is so much value in being patient, in slowing down, and in letting life happen sometimes. Truthfully things will all fall into place in time.
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