In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa and guest Abe Lopez talk about communication and transparency in relationships and what that means in contemporary dating (aka: the lack thereof). They discuss ghosting and what that is all about, being upfront with others, and the importance of empowering yourself to speak your truth without being apologetic for the way you feel.
‘Ghosting.’ That’s been a buzzword term for the last year or so, but what does it exactly mean? And what does it mean for contemporary dating and relationships? In this episode, I talk with Abe about relationships and ups and downs. We share about times we’ve experienced or played a role in ghosting (aka totally disappearing on a person). And we talk about how making time for the people you love is often the most valuable gift.
Highlights From the Episode:
[3:50] “We stray from having these real and awkward conversations because we demonize that we have these very real feelings [to begin with].”
[4:00] “It’s so much more considerate of somebody’s feelings for you to tell them how you feel, even if it’s not reciprocating their [feelings], as opposed to leading them on.”
[13:15] “When somebody cares, they’ll make an effort.”
[16:10] “It’s important to show up, to care… and it’s not an obligation, it’s something you’re willing to do.”
[23:40] “You can’t have a relationship without communication.”
[32:30] “It all boils down to the conversations and communication. Wherever your heart is… be upfront with that person… We need to be honest with each other because that’s where we avoid people’s heartbreaks and we build relationships that are more meaningful.”
[32:45] “Even if it doesn’t work out with you and another person, they’ve heard, from your lips, ‘I’m just not ready’ or ‘This isn’t for me.’ And you take away all that crap that comes with ghosting where people feel like they’re at fault or that something’s wrong with them.”
[35:30] “We put ourselves in a situation where we think that having a standard for ourselves or believing that we’re worthy of more is somehow disingenuous of who we really are.”
[35:50] “The awkward conversations we have are so important because they can change everything.”
The Biggest Takeaway:
Don’t apologize for having standards, especially when it comes to your relationships. Although it might seem that you’re being ‘too much’ or ‘too aggressive’ by having standards in your relationships, Abe argues that creating these ‘boundaries’ help others know what they’re getting into. It also encourages people to rise to the occasion. This, especially in relationships is important so that you know whether or not the connection is worth the investment.
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